The Road to
Ah
Our
itinerary:
-Drive.
-Sleep.
-Coffee and crepes (fake, skinny ass
pancakes).
-Last second main deck audible for best
card in format.
-Destroy everything that moves.
-Lose only to other members of car.
-Watch car-mates stomp through the top 8
on a collision course with each other in the finals.
-Bask in glorious exaltation at wreckage
we cause.
-Celebrate with good Irish whiskey (no,
not Bushmills).
-Drive.
-Sleep.
Run of the mill stuff, really.
The
crew: your Jam Diesel, Conley “
This
expanded edition of WOC chronicles a special trip for the four of us, one that generated
the unique camaraderie that comes with watching your friends and teammates
storm through a tournament alongside you, and it becomes just a question of
which one of you is going to win it as most of your car draws into the top 8
together. I’ll be giving more of an overview of my own tournament instead of a
round by round account so I can focus more on the extravaganza of destruction
that was the finals, and there won’t be much non-magic content as a result. But
that won’t stop this installment from being quite large. I’ll talk a little
about affinity, and the change I made that made my top 8 possible. I’ll talk
with Conley about his amazing deck, Goyf or Bust, and bring you the
play-by-play of the final match between him and Raine, in all its glory.
Ticket
to the Top 8: One white mana
Getting a bye in the
first round: Priceless
After a few of us had done a fair amount of scouting, something
was very apparent: there was a s**t ton of green. Loam, naya zoo, domain zoo,
bant, green-based aggro and midrange of every flavor, and it was all over the
place. That meant Tarmogoyf and his buddies would be falling from the sky. So I
did what any self-respecting magic player would’ve done: I switched the Paths
to the maindeck, and the Thoughtseizes would stay within reach in the sideboard
instead. So I finished my decklist and sleeved up for battle.
Imagine
my surprise at my first round pairings:
38- Jon Dorsey
--- *(BYE)*
It
was just my day.
Well,
it was really Conley’s day, but still.
Strangely
I lost every game 1 I played against faeries (?!), but won every match against
the accursed blue powerhouse. No sideboarded game was really even close. This
is largely because of four things:
--I’ve
never been more familiar with any other match-up with any other deck I’ve ever
played.
--The
back-breaking one-mana spell tandem of Path to Exile and Thoughtseize are two
of the best non-artifact tools affinity has ever had outside of a Disciple of
the Vault, and both cards are ridiculous in this match-up, partially because
of…
--Springleaf
Drum. Affinity can roll out its offense AND defend itself at the same time, all
while accelerating and fixing its mana.
All because of this little artifact.
--My Myr Enforcers always seemed to show up in
packs. Ravenous fae-hunting packs.
At one point I kept a risky hand on the draw against what
turned out to be All-in-red. One land, which was a Glimmervoid, and a Path, a
Drum, a Worker, 2 Ravagers, and a Master. I mean, I’m GONNA be able to make 2
mana at some point, unless he makes a Deus of Calamity on turn 1 or something
silly like that. So he’s on the play and lays a mountain, imprints a Mox with a
Blood Moon, pitches a Simian Spirit Guide…you see where this is going. He
passes the turn with a 6/6 on his side of the table. My first draw step is like
Christmas. Ancient Den. Guess I’ll 4-for-1 you. Oh wait that’s right-- you get
a mountain.
---------------------------------
My
only losses in the tournament came from Raine, who has been piloting his Naya
deck like a master lately. I was thankful for another shot at him in the
quarterfinals since he beat me in the swiss, I just wish it could’ve come in
the semis instead.
Here’s
my rounds would shake down:
Round 1: Bye
Round 2: W, 2-1 vs. Faeries
Round 3: L, 1-2 vs. Naya zoo (Raine)
Round 4: W, 2-1 vs. All-in-red
Round 5: W, 2-1 vs. Faeries (Adam Miller)
Round 6: W, 2-1 vs. Faeries
Round 7: ID
Quarterfinals: L, 0-2 vs.Naya zoo (Raine)
It’s
fair to say my zoo match-up has gotten worse since the printing of Path to
Exile but, besides affinity, Path also happens to be reeeally good against…zoo.
So should it balance out? I don’t think it does. Testing has always seemed to
show that while affinity is a slight favorite, there are so many different ways
to build zoo that the percentage can shift back and forth a lot depending on a
huge number of card choices. Whether they play Path main or not, whether I do
or not. Do they rely on Kataki or Ancient Grudge? Are their Hedge-mages
main?
These
questions seem to be perhaps more relevant now than at any other point in the
season so far. I’m amazed how resilient zoo really is. After falling into
virtual obscurity after the format had become too hostile for it, it evolved
into something better able to compete, and became almost as popular as faeries
in sheer numbers. With Saito’s admittedly not exactly Naya list taking down a
Grand Prix, the craze should be in full swing. There are still people playing
the domain version, with Might of Alara providing new incentive, but the aggro
standard in today’s Extended is GRW Naya zoo.
Which
then begs the question: Is it time for Fatal Frenzy again, or will the presence
of Path make it too risky? I intend to find out in time for the 2nd
Denver PTQ.
The Five Hundred Dollar Match
And now, the
finals of the Albuquerque PTQ.
Conley Woods versus
Raine Lourie.
GAME 1:
Conley won the roll and kept, while Raine mulled once and made a Wild Nacatl
with a stomping ground after just a land from Conley. Just more land from
Conley and Raine drew the first blood of the match on his next turn, taking
Conley to 18 and passing after suspending a Rift Bolt and throwing out a Seal
of Fire. Conley made a small Tarmogoyf on his next turn, but it ate the Bolt on
Raine’s upkeep and the Nacatl went back to work. Raine made a larger Goyf of
his own and passed, and Conley, in danger of falling behind now, summoned Ajani
Vengeant on his turn and began to resist Raine’s mounting tempo by killing the
aggressively costed cat. Raine’s Seal promptly finished off the drained
planeswalker in return and Raine’s now enormous Tarmogoyf took Conley to 11,
and after Raine showed him a second Goyf and another Seal of Fire, Conley was
in serious trouble. He Boomed away one of Raine’s duals and a Flagstones while he
made a stand with a Kitchen Finks, but it could not defend him against two 6/7
Tarmogoyfs for very long without more support, and they scooped up for game 2.
Raine- 1, Conley- 0
GAME 2: Conley
mulled once before keeping and the two played lands for a couple turns until
Raine showed the North Side team captain a Hellspark Elemental. But Conley had
a Kitchen Finks on the next turn and the Elemental’s presence was diminished.
On his turn Raine stared at his hand and the annoyingly death-resistant ouphe
intently for a long moment before finally making a Tarmogoyf and a Wild Nacatl.
Conley’s next turn brought the Helix-wielding planeswalker again however, and
the still-little Goyf was shot dead as Conley’s life total continued to rise.
Raine summoned the dead elemental from the graveyard, sending it after the
deadly Ajani with a quickness, and the Finks promptly stepped in front. It was
to little effect however, as the trample damage would seal the planeswalker’s
fate. Conley sent his persisted Finks into Raine’s Nacatl on his next turn
causing Raine to bite and block the gutsy little guy, and as it headed to the
graveyard the Nacatl was burned the rest of the way down by a Flame Jab. Conley
brought a Tarmogoyf to the party next and Raine was happy to trade the other
Nacatl and a Lightning Helix for it, and the battle between the two savvy
players had reached a fever pitch.
A
Finks showed up for Raine, and a Knight of the Reliquary for Conley, which
brought forth a lethal Rift bolt from Raine on the very next turn. Conley had
yet to put much land in his yard, and Raine dare not oblige him a chance at
using an active Knight. Conley saw his own Finks and bashed Raine a few times
with it after burning down the
Raine- 1, Conley- 1
Game 3: Conley
used the pause between games to show Raine his fortune cookie message from
lunch earlier in the day.
‘Use
your natural talents to obtain more.’
“You
can’t knock the Panda Express” he quipped as they shuffled up for the deciding
game. Raine mulled on the play and looked up at Conley hesitantly from behind
his cards, uttering very quietly, “keep!” which solicited laughter from the
rest of us. He opened with a Stomping Ground into a Wild Nacatl, and after
Conley had just a
After
cycling some lands Conley untapped and produced a Kitchen Finks, bringing a
frown from Raine. But after a brief pause for some inner consultation, the
adept aggro pilot shrank the Finks with a Helix and pressed forth, and Conley,
still on the backfoot, allowed his persisted Finks to be finished off by
Raine’s persistent attack. After nothing from Conley’s next turn but cycling,
Raine paused again to consider his next play. After deciding to trade a Nacatl
with a
“That’s
the nuts” Conley affirmed, nodding his head in approval as he drew for his
turn. Ajani Vengeant came to his side once again and immediately struck down an
Ape, and on Raine’s next turn he wasted no time in sending the surviving Ape
after the seemingly vulnerable planeswalker only to have it swept away with
Conley’s one remaining mana. Now Raine had no creatures and nothing left of his
earlier tempo, and even though he now had 3 lands, Conley had stabilized at a
healthy 10 life, and Ajani was still alive and well.
A
Tarmogoyf came to Raine’s aid and was met by another Finks from Conley, and
Ajani grew stronger after depriving Raine of one of his mana sources. No matter
to Raine though as he just made another Goyf, but instead of going back to work
on Conley’s life total with the first one, Raine watched as it was turned into
a land. Conley had a new man-land after drawing some cards on Raine’s end step,
and continued to bolster Ajani before shipping it back. Now that he had helped
ramp Raine out of his mana problems, he and the planeswalker had more sinister
aims than simply denying Raine a now much less relevant single mana. Raine’s
concern was clearly evident as he thought long and hard before acting on his
next main phase, making a 3rd Kird Ape… and a Sulfuric Vortex! On
Conley’s upkeep his feline assistant took a shock to the face, barely surviving
the encounter, and after drawing his card he promptly restored a point of his
powerful ally’s loyalty.
For
the first time in the match, Conley showed Raine a Life From the Loam, and what
might have been the beginning of the end for the resilient
…It
was not without some irony that it was revealed to be a land.
Conley
Woods defeats Raine Lourie 2 games to 1 to win the PTQ, his very first such
win.
Congratulations on an impressive
victory, Conley.
A
shout out also to Raine, as the savvy
Goyf or Bust – 1, the format – 0
To wrap up the fatty that is my column this time, I sat down
with Conley to talk about his latest winning concoction, Goyf or Bust.
WOC: How did the deck begin? Did something
inspire you?
Conley: Eric Weeden asked me to port over
the UGB Threshold Legacy deck ‘Team
Extended.
Originally I wanted to keep the Tombstalkers but I couldn’t find any other
black
cards
I thought were worth supporting, so I cut the black altogether. I just started
looking at
red
cards instead and the LD theme seemed to be the way to go along with Life from
the Loam obviously. At this point the blue was cut as well, since beyond the
Stifles nothing was really exciting me there either. Then came Ajani Vengeant,
and more support for the mana denial aspect, and I thought why not Lightning
Helix itself, so now I was into white for sure. So naturally Knight of the
Reliquary would shine in this mix, and a neat little toolbox land package came
with him. I had debated whether or not to include Countryside Crusher for a
minute there, but also knew I wanted Kitchen Finks and that was just too many
three drops, so the Crusher didn’t make it.
What did you like most about the deck? Was
there a best card or group of cards?
I
think Ajani is very underrated in Extended, but besides that the Knights and
the one-of lands. 1 Treetop Village, 1 Ghost Quarter, 1 Horizon Canopy. It
should also be noted that Thoughts of Ruin probably won more games for me than
any other single card. Also, Tarmogoyf is kinda good too.
What would you change if you had to play
it again tomorrow?
For
sure the 2 Jittes main were sub par. I just don’t have enough men to make it
worth it. They should probably just become Paths. Flame Jab was ok, but one of
the match-ups it was designed to shine against, Faeries, I only played once,
and the other match-up, Elves, I didn’t play at all.
The
Paths out of the board were great obviously, and Wheel of Sun and Moon is
ridiculous against any kind of Loam strategy. The Hedge-mages were fine, and I
never actually cast a Wrath.
Talk about your match-ups. Are there any
bad ones?
The
only terrible match-up is TEPS, as there is nothing I can really do, but I
didn’t anticipate much of it, and that was an accurate guess. Affinity is rough
game 1, but I feel that it changes drastically after boarding. B/G Loam is
around 50/50 I’d say, and the best match-ups are Faeries, Zoo, Bant, Slide, and
white Martyr-type decks, and Elves is certainly favorable with all 4 Flame Jabs
after boarding. My only game loss in the swiss was a faerie player who showed
me double Relic of Progenitus. It happens.
-----------------------------------
And we’re done! You’ve made it to the end
of this ponderously large PTQ-busting edition of WOC, and I want to thank you
for taking the time to read the whole thing. You deserve a refreshing beverage
at the very least.
My thanks to Conley, Raine, and Eric for
their support and everything they added to the trip. This one will stand out
for me for a long time, and I was proud to be representing
It was the best of times, my friends.
Next:
The 2nd Denver PTQ, and my last shot of the season! Will my road
lead to paradise after all? Find out right here!
Until then, play tight, draw well, and
I’ll see you on the beach…
--JD, Team
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